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Owner #1
Name: Eric Nordberg
Nickname: Kraken
DOB: Long ago
Courier Since: 1989–1996
Quote: You've succeeded in convincing me life is worth living by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.
Miles: 16
Wheels: Masi 3v
Highlight: Breaking my chain and crashing a mile from the pickup in Germantown. Then walking to the clients place and stealing a link from the chain of one of their bikes while dripping blood everywhere so I could ride back.
Goals: World domination
Relevant Info: Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel.
Dispatcher #8
Name: Brims
DOB: Scorpio–ism
Courier Since: Right after the dinosaurs died
Quote: There's always more work at TimeCycle
Average Jobs: 650+
Wheels: Bilenky Road Bike
Highlight: I just live out my courier dreams/highlights through all the couriers I dispatch
Goals: To get the high score on all the pinball machines in the office.
Relevant Info: In Australia a dispatcher is called a controller which is way more mysterious & sinister.
Courier #25
Name: Matthew Kendig
D.O.B.: 9/24/82
Courier Since: 2002
Quote: There is only one thing the in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Average Jobs per day: a few
Average miles per day: a few
Your Wheels: Pink Presto, Red Vivalo, and “Sex Appeal”
Deliver Highlight: The pretzel truck that hit me, then gave me a Brewster's Million
Goals: Work as a messenger until it's not fun then do something with my photography.
Relevant Info: If you don't know I'm ridiculous, then you don't know me.
Courier #26
Name: Jeff O'Neill
D.O.B.: 8/28/83
Courier Since: 2002
Quote: Is it raining outside? (as I'm soaking wet)
Jobs per day: 35ish
Miles: 30ish
Wheels: Level Track “blue”
Highlight: Finding $183 blowing down Delaware Ave
Goals: No die. Start my own franchise of family style restaurants.
Relevant info: It's not nice to stare.
Courier #37
Name: Brian Bennett
Nickname: Chistachio
D.O.B.: 2/22/81
Courier Since: 2002
Quote: The last thing I remember is the 1st crack of the Sparks. –Hammer
Jobs: Enough
Miles: Enough
Wheels: 1972 Raleigh Super Course
Highlight: Seeing guts on the table @ UPenn morgue.
Goals: To open “Hector's hotdogs” stand or become a house husband.
Relevant Info: It's not exercise, it's recess
Courier #39
Name: Bryan
D.O.B.: 4/4/80
Courier Since: 1999
Quote: Sorry doc, I don't have insurance…
Jobs: Too many
Miles: Too many
Wheels: White, red, brown, and grey
Highlight: Stealing Mark's jobs
Goals: Moving back to the wild west
Relevant Info: Bionic Ankle
Courier #42
Name: Henry Duarte
Quote: Put me on the backburner
Jobs: Depends on how good my game of Tempest is going.
Courier #43
Name: Rachel Fletcher
Nickname: The Master of Disaster
D.O.B.: 9/18/79
Courier Since: I don't remember anymore
Quote: Things don't hit me, I hit things.
Jobs: 5-45 (depending on how annoyed I am)
Miles: Don't ask
Wheels: Landshark-Road, Steamroller-Track, Voodoo-MTB
Highlight: Delivering my heart to Jesus
Goals: To have some goals
Relevant Info: Str 12 Dex 16 Int 11 Con 23 Wis 26 Cha 9
Courier #45
Name: Lou Calvo
Nickname: Nice Guy Lou
DOB: 12/3/31
Courier Since: 1997
Quote: I'll be at church
Average Jobs: 5
Wheels: Honda
Goals: Retire
Customer Service Person #52
Name: Steve Norton
Nickname: Norton
DOB: 9/2/72
Courier Since: 97
Quote: Mission Accomplished
Goals: Rum, sodomy and the last. –The Pogues
Courier #59
Name: Eric
Nickname: Airbud, Five-Nine, Woody Harrelson, I'm the Best, Gnarlsbad, Putty.
D.O.B.: 6/7/80
Courier Since: Rookie
Quote: ROTFL J <3, LOL, BRB, WTF
Jobs: 420
Miles: 69
Wheels: Don't worry about it….You've seen many like it.
Highlight: I delivered an envelope to somebody relatively quickly and they appreciated it. They signed their name legibly.
Goals: I live my life a quarter-mile at a time
Relevant Info: Gittin' R' Done
Customer Service Person #63
Name: Skid Mark
DOB: 6/17/80
Courier Since: Off and on since 2001
Quote: You can't make me cry, I married Em
Average Jobs: 125
Miles: 8
Wheels: Bianchi, ViVialo
Highlight: Free drinks, $20 Thanksgiving tip, 99 going incredible hulk on some dude, SEPTA rail yard, having a gun pulled on my by a US Marshal.
Goals: Get a trade, move to Maine
Relevant Info: I answer phones all day, everything is awesome!
Courier #67
Name: Matthew Barlett
Nickname: Lord of the Big Ring
D.O.B.: 2/23/68
Courier Since: 95
Quote: W.O.R.K. “Your at work, work station”
Jobs: 30
Miles: 20
Wheels: Aerospoked, Rubyshocked 62 teeth Ti Bikes
Email: my apple IIc can't run windows
Highlight: Being filmed for FOX29 special, finding $364, Riding to Valley Forge on a cold windy day in Feb for a miserly $21, Rescuing birds off the streets before they get trampled by horseless carriages.
Goals: To take my LLc status and do something with it. Perhaps take over this whole industry and bring it to it's knees!!
Courier #72
Name: Katie Behrens
Nickname: The Cosmic Blast
D.O.B.: 6/13/78
Courier Since: a while ago
Quote: I'm from Minnesota
Wheels: 1 Pink, 1 Purple, 1 Blue. Precious
Goals: West
Relevant Info: I could do with out the ever-changing 6 or so jerks that feel the need to call me “Barbie” everyday. Especially the ones that think they're clever.
Courier #73
Name: Seth
Nickname: Precious Seth
D.O.B.: 5/23/81
Courier Since: 2001
Quote: “Interpretations of interpretations interpreted” –James Joyce
Jobs: Many
Miles: Many
Wheels: Guerciotti-work, Simoncini-pleasure
Highlight: The day I made $3,000 on a delivery to USDC – Thanks Stu!
Goals: Do better
Relevant Info: I hate when people ask me about how much couriers make a week. How much do you make a week?
Courier #74
Name: Carl
Nickname: Job Gobbler
DOB: 8/28/75
Courier Since: 1999
Quote: “Rodent's of unusual size? I don't believe they exist”
Jobs: 30
Miles: you tell me
Wheels: Cannondale should be paying me
Highlight: Met my girlfriend
Goals: NOYFB
Relevant Info: Don't put the brown play dough in your mouth
Courier #79
Name: Jackson
DOB: 10/23/76
Courier Since: January 01
Quote: NERDS! –Ogre, ROTN
Average Jobs: 50
Miles: 50
Wheels: 3 pinks bikes
Highlight: Tips
Goals: To make a TimeCycle guest appearance on The Simpsons, and also to finally write the TimeCycle musical
Courier #83
Name: Dave Wagner
Nickname: D. Dubs
DOB: 8/27/85
Courier Since: Sept 05
Quote: It's all about speed!
Miles: 20-30???
Wheels: KHS, Faggin, Eastern Reaper
Highlight: Every day amounts to new highlights
Goal: Ride across the country
Courier #88
Name: Scotty Yelity
DOB: 12/3/78
Courier Since: 2000
Quote: I love it when a plan comes together
Jobs: 35-40
Miles: enough
Wheels: Orbea Track
Highlight: When I get tips. High fives, and slaps on the ass.
Goals: Keep making more films. Get jaded
Courier #90
Name: Marco Antonio Creacy
Nickname: 9 zero
DOB: 1/3/73
Courier Since: 2003
Quote: do the job till your knees blow out
Jobs: 35-40
Miles: don't care
Wheels: White Wheels, Black bike
Highlight: Just to make them on time.
Goals: To own my own Mt. Bike Tour Comp. back in Arizona
Relevant Info: Don't take your job so serious, it makes you grow old.
Courier #91
Name: Jake
DOB: 12/10/80
Courier Since: Aug 03
Quote: Ride hard, live hard
Jobs: 25
Miles: As many as possible
Wheels: DeBernardi with bombproof level hubs on Velocity deep V's
Highlight: Delivering two boxes of fuzzy handcuffs
Goals: Ride harder, live harder
Courier #105
Name: Fred Schick
Nickname: The Big Cheese
DOB: Long before any of you
Courier Since: I can't remember
Courier #109
Name: Daryl Hirsch
Nickname: Big Dog
DOB: 2/21/68
Courier Since: Way too long
Quote: Creativity is more important then genius –Einstein
Jobs: It's not the quantity, it's the quality
Wheels: Something Japanese
Highlight: Delivering a pkg personally to The Iron Chef Morimoto in NYC
Goals: Rock Star
Relevant Info: Sorry girls, I'm taken
Courier #110
Name: Fred Cratil Jr.
Nickname: Pelle
DOB: 11/5/56
Courier Since: 11/04
Quote: “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross” –Sinclair Lewis
Wheels: 2002 VW Passat
Goals: Finally open up LeVirtu, the restaurant I'm involved in. Featuring the food of the Abruzzo Region of Italy.
Relevant Info: Bruno, Cairn Terrier, DOB–9/2/00
Courier #122
Name: Dave
Quote: “Put it through”
Jobs: 1-20
Sales Guy #200
Name: Rick Kenny
Nickname: The Nov
DOB: I'm old!
Courier Since: Days of Yore
Quote: “Sure we will use your fine service”!
Average Jobs: Is it Friday already?
Wheels: Bitchin tricked out Scion xB
Highlight: Picking up office payroll!
Goals: Hitting the lottery would be great for starters!
Relevant Info: My kids think I'm Kool!!!
Name: Devon
Nickname: Queen Bee
DOB: 4/19/77
Employed Since: 1998
Quote: I need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale. It cannot be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Wheels: Scion xB
Highlight: Being told it would be my fault if a client got pregnant on vacation because the pharmacist would not give our courier her birth control pills.
Goals: Rid the world of deadbeat customers.
Relevant Info: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
Customer Service Person #210
Name: Chris
Nickname: Billy
DOB: 2/2/74
Courier Since: Never
Quote: Ma'am, I have not yet begun to defile myself.
Wheels: New Balance 450's
Goals: Own a bar where hipsters and frat boys aren't allowed, and nap as much as possible.
Relevant Info: If you want to know you have to buy me a drink.